Posted by: BaileyB | February 23, 2010

Some awesome jokes ‘n’ things to pass your time!

Let’s get these reading minutes counted!  Here’s a fun way to do it!

Some Comebacks

  • How about never? Is never good for you? 
  • You sound reasonable… Time to up the medication. 
  • I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 
  • I don’t work here. I’m a consultant. 
  • Ahhh… I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again 
  • I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. 
  • I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 
  • You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 
  • I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter. 
  • I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. 
  • I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 
  • It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying. 
  • I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of it. 
  • What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? 
  • Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 
  • I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a damn. 
  • I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 
  • His teeth are brighter than he is. 
  • No, my powers can only be used for good. 
  • We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 
  • The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist. 
  • I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 
  • Who me? I just wander from room to room. 
  • I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant. 
  • It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
  •  

    Jokes

    • Knock, knock
      Who’s there?
      Thistle who?
      Thistle have to hold you until dinner’s ready. 
    • Knock, knock
      Who’s there?
      Adolf Adolf who?
      Adolph ball hit me in de mowf. Dat’s why I dawk dis way. 
    • Knock, Knock.
      Who’s there?
      I love.
      I love who?
      I don’t know, you tell me! 
    • Knock, Knock.
      Who’s there?
      Police.
      Police who?
      Police stop telling these awful knock, knock jokes! 
    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Woo.
      Woo, who?
      Don’t get so excited, it’s just a joke. 
    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Easter.
      Easter, who?
      The Easter Bunny. 
    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Anna.
      Anna, who?
      Anna nother Easter Bunny! 
    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Moira. Moira, who?
      Moira Easter Bunnies. 
    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Howie.
      Howie, who?
      Howie gonna get rid of all these Easter Bunnies? 
    • Knock, knock
      Who’s there?
      Ammonia
      Ammonia who?
      Ammonia a bird in a gilded cage 
    • Knock, knock
      Who’s there?
      Mary lee
      Mary lee who?
      Mary lee we roll along 
    • Knock, knock
      Who’s there?
      Aardvark
      Aardvark who?
      Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles 
    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Who.
      Who who?
      Is there an owl in here? 
    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Andy Green.
      Andy Green, who?
      Andy Green grass grows all around, all around. 
    • Knock, knock
      Who’s there?
      Dwane.
      Dwane who?
      Dwane the bathtub — I’m dwowning! 
    • Knock, knock
      Who’s there?
      A little old man who can’t reach the doorbell 
    • Knock, knock
      Who’s there?
      Let us
      Let us who?
      Let us in and you will find out 
    • Knock, knock
      Who’s There?
      Ivan.
      Ivan who?
      Ivan to suck your blood!! 
    • Knock, knock
      Who’s There?
      Gorilla
      Gorilla Who?
      Gorilla me a hamburger, I’m hungry. 
    • Knock, knock
      Who’s There?
      Cow-go
      Cow-go Who?
      No, Cow go MOO!!! 
    • Knock, knock
      Who’s there?
      Centipede.
      Centipede who?
      Centipede on the Christmas tree. 
    • Knock, knock,
      Who’s there?
      Lettuce.
      Lettuce who?
      Lettuce in!!

     

    Those are today’s jokes!  Please read ’em and get ur minutes counted!

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